MSU Soccer Participant’s Lawyer: My Girlfriend Was Attacked By A Cup Of Phlegm In 1995

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Typically talking, this isn’t how a younger athlete caught up in a high-profile combat ought to select a lawyer to rent:

Tweets from David Diamond:

"I will rep all these MSU athletes for free. MSU grad and high profile criminal defense lawyer."

and "I will gladly fly out to East Lansing and rep all these athletes!"
Screencap by way of @a_j_ruszk (Diamond’s tweets at the moment are protected)

And but one of many Michigan State soccer gamers concerned within the tunnel fracas after Michigan’s house win over MSU apparently did simply that. This afternoon, the California-based, MSU-grad legal professional David Diamond, claiming to signify a suspended Spartan, launched an all-time doozy of an official assertion.

The assertion, riddled with grammar errors and misspellings, claims with out proof {that a} Michigan participant began the violence that changed into the lopsided Spartan beatdown caught on video. However way more entertaining than its opening is its majestic run of weird phrase decisions and steam-out-the-ears tangents. Whereas Diamond is licensed to apply legislation within the state of California, he maintains the center of a real school soccer poster. This public missive reads like he dictated it with text-to-speech software program after waking up from main surgical procedure. It’s like a poem made solely from overheard conversations within the males’s toilet at Harper’s. Listed here are a few of the most aggrieved highlights:

  • Referring to U-M coach Jim Harbaugh: “The media has taken the bait from a coach and grasp sufferer and his howls on the moon.”
  • “The repeated ‘hail to the victims’ music and dance doesn’t contribute to the fact-finding mission”
  • About former Michigan linebacker Devin Bush stomping on the MSU midfield brand in 2018: “The place had been the screams from Ann Arbor to criminally cost … Devon Bush (sic) with felony vandalism. The silence was palpitating. The hypocrisy is painful.”
  • “Why had been the UM gamers allowed within the tunnel and quite than criticize an MSU worker for not participating with 6 foot 6-inch giants, we should ask ourselves concerning the Michigan safety within the tunnel.”
  • The ultimate level he ends on is a long-held grudge from 27 years in the past: “I personally know concerning the ethical superiority claims as I used to be a pupil at MSU in 1995 when my then girlfriend had a big cup of phlegm and saliva tossed at her by a UM basketball participant. Regardless of calls and letters, UM did completely nothing.”

The humorous factor is, I truly agree with essentially the most primary crux of Diamond’s level—that this isn’t an issue that must be solved by placing extra younger males within the felony justice system. However he’s not going to do anybody any favors when he reveals up on the courthouse shirtless and coated in green-and-white physique paint. MSU nonetheless hasn’t risen to the extent of an actual soccer college, as a result of if this occurred at Georgia or Ohio State, they’d at the least have somebody on name for these gamers who is aware of easy methods to use the phrase “palpitating.” Extra broadly, although, I’m a bit of involved that this man is performing as anybody’s lawyer, and as such I’ve a proposal: For those who’ve ever posted on a school soccer message board in your life, you need to be banned from taking the bar.





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